I know. It’s nearly impossible for a person to do, much to the chagrin of doctors everywhere. But Maizie’s managed to learn all kinds of things I thought would be impossible — stopping and waiting for me, stopping at street corners — so I figure, what the heck. Besides, her new thing is to just not go to the bathroom in the morning until the absolute last possible minute, right before we go back inside. And that’s only because I stand there and refuse to move until she goes. It’s getting pretty old — I don’t have the time for a half-hour stand-off in the morning. So now, per the advice of training websites, I stand there and praise her while she pees. Praise her when she’s done peeing. Then reward her with treats and pets. And yes, I feel like an idiot while doing it.